Fic: Said and Done (15/25)

[icmezzo_archive]

Said and done

Synopsis: Graduate students Edward and Jasper feel the connection, but is it enough to overcome their differences? (E/J slash, vamp/human, comedy/romance, rated NC-17)

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Chapter 15: Past, present, and future tents


A/N: Thank you for reading.

Thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing this and every chapter.

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc., mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express authorization.

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Chapter 15: Past, present, and future tents

My god! It just kept getting bigger and bigger.

Would it ever stop?

I watched with fascinated horror at Jasper's groin as he pitched a rather prominent tent in the sheet that covered him. And it was no pup-tent either.

I wondered if Jasper was dreaming of something that made his body react this way, or if this really did just happen some mornings like I read in Alice's Cosmo. I hoped Jasper would let me lay with him while he slept again in the future, so I could see if this was a regular occurrence.

I couldn't tear my eyes away. And then, of course, I felt my own body begin to respond in kind. I glanced between us. Great. Now there were two tents. We were a tacky sign away from calling ourselves a KOA campground.

And then I heard a fake cough from next to me. I hadn't noticed Jasper had woken up! I must admit, I panicked a bit, embarrassed that Jasper would see me in this condition. So I did the only thing I could think of. I shut my eyes and pretended to sleep.

"Edward?" he asked, and poked me in the arm. "Edward?"

I ignored him and emulated a soft snore.

"Edward," Jasper said again, less of a question this time. "I know you can't sleep."

Still, I kept up the ruse, refusing to open my eyes, and attempting to look as relaxed as possible.

"Edward, well then, if you're asleep, you won't mind if I do this," Jasper said.

And then he placed his soft, warm, pulsing hand on the portion of my chest uncovered by the blanket, and ran it slowly down my body and across my icy flat stomach.

It took every ounce of my willpower to keep my eyes closed, which is why I had none left to hold back the whimper that escaped my lips.

"And you wouldn't know if I did this either," he said after a moment, removing his hand from under the blankets.

His heart beat wildly and I tensed in anticipation, my nerves working overtime, wondering what he would do next. However, nothing could have prepared me for it because there is simply no way to explain to someone exactly how their entire world is about to shift on its axis before it happens. I guess it was safe to say that what Jasper did next quite simply rocked my world.

I heard him take a deep breath, and then with that same hot hand that had graced my naked torso, he wrapped his fingers around me down there.

Holy fucking god. My eyes flew open, I sat up quickly in the bed and gasped. "Jasper!"

He released me, and started laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, rolling around in the bed, eyes watering in amusement.

I tried to glare at him, though my success was marginal. It's hard to be mad when the human you like touches your erection.

After he'd calmed down he looked at me. "Boy, if that was your reaction to my touching you through the blankets, I can't wait to see what you'll do when I really get a hold of you," he commented, grinning.

I growled in response and shoved him off the bed for his teasing.

He yelped as he fell, tangled in the blankets.

Of course I caught him before he hit the ground, at which point we both dissolved into fits of laughter on his bedroom floor.

XXXXX

After I fed Jasper breakfast, we decided to get our homework out of the way so we could enjoy the rest of the weekend, which, I must say, was off to a fantastic start. I was seriously glad that even though Jasper's warm hand had been wrapped around me for less than five seconds, I'd have no problem recalling the feeling whenever the mood struck.

I decided to take our studying to the library so Jasper would have less to distract him. After finding a table on the rather deserted fourth floor where the school housed its dusty anthropology volumes, we spread out our books and got to work. I finished my reading within a few minutes, and my early music part-writing assignment not long after.

After accounting for the length of Jasper's reading assignments, the time it took him to read a page, the seconds used when he picked up a highlighter to highlight approximately three lines per page, plus the time wasted when he glanced up at me every four minutes, minus a few seconds per page for those with graphs or other images, I determined it would be between two hours and 18 minutes and two hours and 21 minutes until he finished—unless he got hungry first and we had to break for food, in which case all bets were off.

I hadn't accounted for the fact that Jasper wasn't really in the mood to study, however. He glanced up twice as often as I had anticipated, and frequently had to reread sections of his textbook two or three times. It was going to be a long study session, I could tell.

So I settled in to stare at the faux wood library table while replaying the night before in my mind. After Jasper had kissed me, he'd whispered goodnight and curled up in a little ball of golden curls and pajama pants and tucked himself into my side. I'd never forget the exquisite feeling of his even breaths against my skin, his heat warming my body, and the feel of his pulse against my side, so close to my own heart. He hadn't stayed that way all night, of course. Stillness was not a strong point for most humans. But I enjoyed examining him while he turned and twisted into various positions, each highlighting different aspects of his form. It was, hands down, the best night of my life.* I just hoped we could do it again soon. I smiled, remembering.

After approximately twenty minutes but only eight pages on his part, he caught my eye. "So, Edward," he paused and grinned. "Yesterday, was that your first kiss?"

"No," I said defensively. Esme had kissed me lots of times over the years.

He rolled his eyes. "Was that your first real kiss?"

I looked down. "Maybe."

"I thought so," he commented. "You vamp—I mean, you guys are fast learners."

I looked up at him, but he was already reading his book again, though he was chuckling a bit.

Wait! What did he mean by that?

I repeatedly opened my mouth to ask but shut it again each time. Should I interrupt him to ask? Did I want to know? Was I a bad kisser? What if he didn't want to kiss me again? How could he tell anyway? Wait, did this mean that... that this wasn't... wasn't his first kiss? Oh my god. What if he had... done other things too? What if he had... ? I growled under my breath at the images that raced through my brain.

He looked up at the sound, and patted my arm. "It was amazing kissing you. I didn't mean it wasn't," he said, misinterpreting my reaction. "I was just wondering if it was, you know, your first time. Seriously, I loved kissing you. Maybe when I get done learning about Gilgamesh we can try again? Practice makes perfect, you know."

I nodded, hearing him, but barely. I was still distracted by the new rather horrific possibilities I'd never before considered. What if, what if, what if? I excused myself and took a walk across the floor of the library so I could hide between the shelves and freak out a bit without him seeing.

I decided to call Emmett to discuss this from my hiding place by the books on Aztec mythology. Luckily he answered right away. I didn't even give him a chance to say hello. "Emmett, it's Edward. I don't know what to do. I think maybe Jasper has kissed someone before."

He paused for a moment before responding. "Yeah, so?"

So? Was he kidding? I asked him as much.

"Don't you think that maybe that's a good thing? Considering your... inexperience, maybe a little bit on Jasper's part isn't a bad thing?" he replied.

"You're insane!" I shot back. "Would you be okay with it if some guy had kissed Rosalie before you got together?"

I heard the words a second after I left my mouth and grimaced, remembering the tragedy that ended Rosalie's human life. I apologized immediately and profusely.

"It's okay," he said after a moment. "Just remember than human memories fade quickly. As long as he's with you now, that's what matters."

"I guess," I replied, unconvinced. "But what if he did other things too? What if he—" I started to ask before Emmett cut me off.

"Dear god, do not finish that sentence," Emmett begged. "Look, Rosalie and I were in the middle of having some fun and you are totally gonna make me lose my boner. Besides, you should talk to Jasper about this stuff, not me."

"I, uh, gross. Emmett! Why'd you even answer the phone?" I asked.

"Because I know you. If I didn't answer you'd just call me back repeatedly until I did," he said. "Now, can we hang up please? Unless you want to hear exactly what Rosalie is doing at the moment?"**

"No, we're good. Thanks! Talk to you later. Bye!" I said quickly and hung up the phone before he could get another word in.

I decided it was best to return to Jasper at that point before he started to worry.

Jasper had progressed a few more pages by the time I returned, but it was clearly still slow-going for him. I tried to distract him as little as possible, so I simply doodled images of this Steinway I was thinking of buying for my room on campus, while trying not to think about Jasper's probable past experiences.

A half hour later he looked up again and sighed. "It's not fair that you're already done with your work," he complained lightly.

"Yeah well, it's not fair that you're all warm and soft instead of an icy mess," I joked back.

"I'm not soft," he disagreed.

"Sure," I teased. "You're as hard as an Ampire-Vay," I said, whispering the last word.

He smiled at my strategic use of Pig Latin before turning back to his work.

Another 23 minutes later he peered at me again.

"I like it when you wear my clothes," he told me, looking at the shirt he'd lent me that morning. "Have I told you lately that you are gorgeous?"

"You're crazy," I disagreed. "You're the handsome one."

"No, you are," he smiled.

"Uh, uh," I told him confidently, shaking my head. "Besides, I'm rubber and you're glue so what you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."

I'd been waiting several years to say that one, ever since Emmett used it on me back in 1989.

Jasper didn't seem impressed, however. He just smiled, rolled his eyes, and looked back down at his book. But I could tell it took him a few minutes to get back to his work. And it was more than three and a half hours later that he finally decided he'd had enough studying and could leave the library for the day.

XXXXX

After feeding Jasper multiple slices of pizza and a small salad (at my insistence), we walked back to my room. I'd been staying at Jasper's so frequently that I'd neglected my own things. I needed to pick up my cell phone charger, some clean clothes, and a book of sheet music if I was going to be staying at Jasper's any longer.

As we walked, Jasper kept pretending to accidentally bump into me, which made me smile. I wanted to touch him constantly too.

"So when we get to my room can we kiss again?" I asked him, trying to be polite about things. I was eager, of course, but I didn't want to presume anything either. I figured it was better to ask first rather than just attack him when we got to my room.

He chuckled. "I've created a monster."

I raised an eyebrow. "Already a monster, remember? Don't make me show you my fangs again."

He just laughed harder, but I was not to be distracted, even if he did have the most beautiful laugh I'd ever heard.

"So can we?" I tried again.

"Definitely," he agreed after pretending to think about it for longer than I considered polite.

"Good," I smiled, suddenly very impatient to get back to my place.

"Can't you walk any faster?" I asked after a minute.

He just laughed and dragged his heels while I tugged on his coat to get him to speed up.

XXXXX

Jasper and I sat together in my room on the bed the school had supplied for me. I had often considered it a waste of space, but I was suddenly glad for the once superfluous furniture.

We began with a few tentative kisses, but it seemed Jasper couldn't keep his lips on mine. Instead, he repeatedly kissed my ear, my eye, my jaw, my cheeks, even my neck. I mean, it was definitely nice, but didn't he know that the lips were the most sensitive part of the body? So much for his experience. Maybe he was newer to this than I thought.

I smiled at the thought as he kissed just to the side of my mouth.

He pulled back, smiling. "What?"

"You're a virgin too!" I said happily.

He immediately sat back on his heels. "Wait, what?" he looked at me, concern evident in his eyes.

"You're a virgin?" I said again, suddenly far more unsure of my conclusion.

He climbed off the bed and sat in my desk chair a few feet away, frowning a bit. Uh oh, I thought. That was not a good sign.

I decided I had to fix this immediately.

"It's okay, I don't care, I mean, I care, but it's okay, either way, I mean, whether you are or aren't it doesn't matter, I just thought that maybe because of how you were, well, I just thought that maybe, I mean...because of how you kissed me." I was suddenly sure my attempt at an explanation was completely unhelpful.

"Because of how I kissed you?" he asked.

But while he was talking something very important occurred to me. "God, I'm sorry, I just couldn't figure out why you wouldn't kiss me there and I thought that maybe you didn't know but, well, of course you wouldn't want to kiss me on the lips," I said, frowning as I pictured how swollen his lips had looked after we'd kissed the day before. "My venom. It hurts, doesn't it?"

I was incredibly sad at the thought of never kissing his lips again.

"Your venom? What? Edward, what in god's name is going through your head?" he asked.

I stared at the ground and haltingly explained, unwilling to meet his eyes. After I'd finished I looked up and saw him sitting there with his own eyes closed. "Jasper?" I said cautiously.

"Okay," he breathed a moment later, finally opening his eyes. "The reason I kissed you like that has nothing to do with my... experience... or your venom. And really, if you have questions, you know you can just ask me, right? You don't have to keep these things bottled up inside, spinning in that head of yours. Just ask, okay?"

I nodded, looking at the floor.

"Okay, look, I kind of feel like going for a run. I need to think a bit. And you probably need to go uh, get a drink? It's been awhile, hasn't it? Would you mind if we just did our own thing for a few hours and clear our heads? Will you come to my place later? We can talk about everything then," he said, standing up and putting on his coat.

I nodded again, eyes still on the ground, and frowned. He didn't want to be with me.

I was devastated as I heard him take a few steps toward the door, when he suddenly turned around and came back. He reached for me, and tilted my face up toward his, and pressed his lips firmly against mine. After he finished, he pulled back just enough to whisper into my ear. "I just need a few hours, okay? I'm not mad. And I really can't wait until you come over tonight. I'm going to show you what these lips can do."

I gulped and watched him quickly walk out the door, the dust swirling in the air behind him.

XXXXX

I was troubled as I headed toward Jasper's later that evening, but I had to admit he may have been right. As much as I didn't want to be apart from him, I had needed to hunt. I felt slightly calmer after having gone for a long run and having drunk my fill of wildlife in a nearby state park.

When I knocked on his door, it took him less than a second to open it, and soon I stood before him, waiting for his cue. He motioned toward the couch, so I sat, but when he sat down, he did so on the far end.

I had kinda wanted to begin by kissing him a dozen or more times. But while I understood that one day his couch may be a great place for kissing, in our short time together it had already become our 'talking' place. And we did have some important things to discuss. So I sat back to listen.

"I missed you," he said simply.

I nodded as he continued. "Before you, hell, before this week, I was used to being alone a lot. This is a big change. A good change, but a big one. And I know you're supposed to keep an eye on me but maybe I need some space sometimes, I guess. I mean, we're together all the time, and it's a huge adjustment. So, there are some things I like to do that I want to make time for, like, running, and going to the gym and..."

I cut him off, excitedly bouncing on the sofa. "I can go to the gym with you! And I love running. Emmett and I do that a lot when we're home together."

"No, you don't understand. I need to run by myself. That's when I do my best thinking. I can't multitask like you can, so I need to set aside time for that," he explained.

"And..." he hesitated. "I want to pick out my own food. You don't have to feed me." He followed my doubtful gaze toward his empty pantry. "I know you don't think so, but I am totally capable of hunting and gathering for myself. And seriously, I know you're trying to keep me healthy, but I liked salads until you started telling me I had to eat them at every meal."

He paused and reached out to me, and put his hand on my leg. "And listen, this is really important, okay? I really don't like salad for breakfast. I'll try to eat them for you at other meals, but no more for breakfast. It's just wrong."

I nodded.

No salad at breakfast. Got it.
Let Jasper choose his own meals. Got it.
Jasper needs time alone. Got it, though I grimaced a bit at that one.

Relationships were complicated, I realized.

"What about you?" Jasper suddenly asked, pulling me back to the present. "Is there anything you need?"

I thought for a minute, before shaking my head. "I just need you."

He smiled a little. "Okay. Is there anything that you want then?"

That was easier. Everyone wanted things. "Yes. I would like it if you played your guitar for me. Also, I would like it if you would wear reading glasses when you study. I see you squinting and I don't want you to hurt your eyes."

He smiled. "I think I can handle that."

Hmm. Maybe this relationship thing wasn't so hard after all.

"Now, about the uh, whole, being a virgin thing. Do you want to talk about it? Maybe we should?"

Scratch that. Definitely hard.

I grimaced and nodded.

"Uh, you're going to have to take your hands off your ears if you want to talk about this," he pointed out.

Slowly I peeled them from my head and took a deep breath. "Okay. Tell me," I said.

"I don't have a lot of experience, but I do have some. I've always been safe, but despite how I kissed you earlier, I'm not a virgin," he paused, evidently still confused how I'd come to that conclusion. "And I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I was in a few relationships before, in college and everything, and sex was naturally a part of that."

He paused to scoot closer to me on the couch, and tilted my head toward him. "It doesn't make anything we have or do any less special, do you understand?"

"Okay," I said slowly. "As long as you promise not to think about it. Ever." I clarified. I'd just have to make him forget. Somehow.

"I swear," he confirmed. "Are we good?"

I just pulled him into the tightest hug I thought his human flesh could handle. I guess I drove him half-crazy, but for some reason, he was still willing to be my Jasper.

After a few minutes, I let him pry himself from my arms.

"I believe I made you a promise earlier?" he whispered.

"Uh, yeah you did!" I jumped up and pulled him with me toward his bedroom.

Within minutes Jasper was perched over top of me as I lay shirtless on the bed. I reached up to begin to peel his own shirt off, but I supposed I got a bit caught up in the moment, because before I realized it, I had half of his shirt in each of one my hands and only one sleeve was left on Jasper.

"Hey!" he exclaimed.

"Oops," I said, but then shrugged. Dangers of being a vampire and all. I tossed them to the side and pulled him down to kiss me on the lips.

"Hey! Wait. Nope, nope, nope," Jasper said, sitting up again, and pulling off the small remnant of his shirt. "I'm in charge."

I whined at him and tried to pull him back down, but he just put his hand over my face. I promptly licked it.

"Edward!" he exclaimed, trying not to laugh at me. "Stop!"

I put my tongue back in my mouth and looked up at him. "But you said..." I reached for him again.

"I know what I said," he grinned. "I'm going to show you what my lips can do. But that means you have to stop!"

I humphed a bit.

"Trust me. Now, here's what you have to do. I need you to stop thinking about what I'm doing, and just feel. I mean it. No thinking," he said sternly.

"Fine." I agreed, trying not to smile.

"Now, close your eyes," he said in a low voice, as he put his hands in mine and stretched them above my head.

I did so, and my other highly developed senses took over. I could feel his warmth close to my skin, the sound of his heart pounding above me, and his scent, always his scent, teasing me. But while I couldn't see him, I could feel his eyes on me. I shivered at the sensations.

And then he kissed me on the side of my forehead. And then again, by my ear. And down my jaw.

I tilted my head reflexively to catch his lips with mine, but he pulled back. "No, Edward. You wanted to know why I wasn't kissing you on the mouth. I'm showing you. Not that I don't love kissing your mouth, but trust me. There are other options."

I felt him release my hands. "Leave them," he instructed, and he pulled his hands teasingly along my arms as they lay on the bed above my head, and down onto my torso. He left one on my chest, while his other found space on the bed next to me for balance.

I could feel his warm body above mine, inches apart. I instinctively arched into him, seeking contact. He maintained distance, however, except for his lips, which down found the other side of my jaw, where he kissed me lightly.

"Jasper," I whispered, hearing the need in my voice.

"Shhh," he said, nuzzling his face into my neck. "Just feel."

And he kissed my neck, and I felt his hot tongue teasing my cold skin. He licked and sucked and kissed his way to the hollow of my throat, which he worshiped with his lips.

I moaned and felt myself growing hard.

I couldn't keep my hands from Jasper any longer. He let me wrap them around his waist as he still sat on my hips above me as he continued to place kisses along my collarbone, before working his way back up my neck.

He nibbled my ear.
He kissed my eyelids.
He licked and kissed my jaw.

Eventually, he kissed just to the side of my mouth and I couldn't help but seek out his lips again. But instead of finding them, he simply placed brushed his nose against mine. I sucked in the warm air, tasting his breath.

"Jasper," I pleaded again.

But again, he shushed me, and pressed his forehead against mine, and ran his hands over my face, before finally tracing my neglected lips with his thumb.

I felt him move his hands to the bed on either side of my head. He placed breathy kisses in a straight line from my forehead, to my nose, skipping my mouth, of course, but moving down my chin, and down my neck, and onto my chest.

Between kisses, he spoke. "Open your eyes," he said in a low voice. "Do you see? Do you see what kisses can do?"

"Yes, I see," I practically panted.

I watched him as he pressed his hips and his own hardness into mine. He looked at me and smiled. "Yeah, you see," he teased. "They don't have to be on the mouth, do they?"

I whimpered. "Jasper, please."

"Please what?" he asked, grinding into me.

I didn't answer. Instead, I pulled him down to me, and in the cage of my arms, flipped us over so that I was now on top of him.

Before he could protest, I pressed my lips hard against his.

"Both. Let's always do both," I growled when I paused to allow him to breathe.

He reached up to kiss me on the mouth again, his hands in my hair.

"Okay," he murmured as I kissed along his jawline. "Both."

"Both," I agreed, as he arched against me, and I pressed my mouth against the curve of his neck.

"Both," he panted beneath me, his tongue tracing my lips. "We've got... lots... of time... for both."

Lots of time. We did have lots of time, didn't we?

But...would that be enough?

I kinda wanted...no, needed... forever.

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A/N: * Previously, the best nights of Edward's life had been, in order, the night he and Jasper went to the movies and for blueberry pie, the night Carlisle and Esme had welcomed him back after he'd left for several years to drink humans, and the night he discovered Velcro. (Don't ask.)

** At that moment, Rosalie had grease and oil streaked through her hair and on her face and was dressed in dirty overalls... and nothing else. She had just pretended to fix Emmett's jeep and was preparing to fuck him against the side of the vehicle. This was one of Rosalie's favorite role play scenes. Emmett enjoyed it well enough, of course, although if he was honest with himself, he'd admit that his own favorite scene to enact was one where Rosalie dressed in a red cape and pranced through the woods to visit her grandmother's house, which she apparently wasn't actually all that interested in visiting, because Emmett the big bad wolf always convinced her to come with him instead (often several times in a row).