Fic: Said and Done (12/25)

[icmezzo_archive]

Said and done

Synopsis: Graduate students Edward and Jasper feel the connection, but is it enough to overcome their differences? (E/J slash, vamp/human, comedy/romance, rated NC-17)

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Chapter 12: Roles and responsibilities


A/N: Uh, yeah. Some James Bond references in the last chapter. So if something seemed really wacky, it may have been because it came from a Bond movie. Wait, what? The whole chapter was insane so how can you tell what was weird because it came from a classic movie and what was weird because ICMezzo is obviously smoking something she ought not? Good point, and I have no idea. Guess you'll have to Google it.

Thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing this and every chapter.

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc., mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express authorization.

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Chapter 12: Roles and responsibilities

I had barely taken three steps onto the edge of our property when I heard Carlisle's voice.

"Please meet me in my office, Edward."

Shoot. I frowned and quickly made my way to Carlisle's office. I had hoped to have a bit of time to myself to think things over before seeing any of my family members.

It turns out I had a few more minutes to myself than I realized I would. When I arrived in Carlisle's doorway, he took one look at me and sent me to shower. I was to come back after I'd cleaned up.

It wasn't until Carlisle reacted to my appearance that I thought to look down. Not only had my shirt come untucked, but I was covered in dirt, my pants had splinters in them, my zipper was halfway down and I had more than one leaf stuck in my hair. No wonder he decided to give me a few minutes.

After returning myself to some semblance of order, I returned to Carlisle.

This time when he entered, he directed me to sit. I could tell he was being careful with his words. He spoke deliberately, and his face was strained.

"Did you touch him?" he finally asked.

"Me? Touch Jasper? Today? No," I replied, confused.

His face visibly relaxed at my response. "Oh, thank goodness," he said. "I was afraid..." Carlisle trailed off.

"Afraid of what?" I asked. "I can't read your mind you know."

He paused. "Afraid it was too late."

"Oh," I replied. Carlisle was right to be concerned. I mentally berated myself for not putting Jasper's safety first and leaving him alone entirely in the first place.

I coughed. "No, he's fine," I finally reaffirmed.

Carlisle nodded. "Then let's make sure he stays that way, shall we? I saw you've uh, made some progress physically this evening. But progress without guidance could be dangerous, don't you agree?"

I quickly agreed, though I looked at the floor, slightly embarrassed by the realization that Carlisle had likely guessed the earlier behavior in which I'd engaged, and then of course, I was completely mortified by the thought of what guidance my father might soon be sharing with me.

Carlisle cleared his throat. This couldn't be easy for him either. "Okay, well, do you have any questions?"

I debated for a moment. Should I man up and ask Carlisle everything I wanted to know? Or do I just let him talk? I decided it was time to act like an adult.

So I opened my mouth and... out it came.

"Yes, well, I was wondering, is it safe to hold Jasper's hand? To hug him? Those are okay, right? What about, uh, a kiss. Is that okay? What about, uh, other things? What's safe and what isn't? I mean, I don't know, but I kinda think he's attracted to me, and I should probably know if it ever comes up? And what about my venom? I mean, I just broke a tree, and I don't want to break Jasper."

I pictured some accidental drooling on my part and how it could cause damage to one of Jasper's limbs. I fretted for a moment before additional questions bubbled over. "And, yeah, I, uh, learned how to well, take care of myself, but, uh, I didn't really, I mean, I didn't feel, I don't want to feel that again but I want to feel that again. What's wrong with me? Most people like doing that, don't they? Don't get me wrong, it felt good, but it sort of felt rude...?"

I paused to assess Carlisle's reaction to my litany. He was sitting with his elbows on his desk and his face buried in his hands. Well, that wasn't promising. Still, there was so much more I wanted to know. I decided to continue.

"Well, I think Jasper might want to be my boyfriend. Does that make me gay? Are there other gay vampires? And are humans and vampires even allowed to have relationships? How is it okay? I mean, the Volturi, I don't want to get Jasper into trouble because I couldn't keep my pants zipped in his pine tree." I glanced at Carlisle who was now shaking slightly. Crap. I hadn't meant to tell him about the pine tree. Still, I was just getting started. Well, at least if I didn't have to look into his eyes perhaps I had a fighting chance of getting these questions out.

"And I mean, duh, of course I know how people have sex and how vampires, you know, have sex. But how do humans and vampires have sex? What about gay humans and vampires? I tried Googling it, but of course there was nothing useful." I shuddered remembering the links I'd uncovered. "Yeah, so can we even do that? Because everyone seems to think it is pretty nice, and you know, in case the occasion ever arose, I thought maybe it would be good to know what was possible... if anything... and if it is possible, maybe you have some tips? Is that weird to ask? I guess I could ask Emmett... "

Carlisle took a deep breath and looked up at me. It looked like he was trying very hard to keep a straight face, but there was laughter in his eyes. Well, fine, I thought, don't take me and my human seriously. Is this the sort of prejudice we're up against? I couldn't believe my father was laughing at me. This was serious! How else was I supposed to find out how to have sex?

But before I could get even more worked up, Carlisle started to talk. "Well, I—"

"Oh, and also, Jasper wanted to know how the first vampire was created. Do you happen to know?" I cut Carlisle off. I'd forgotten about that one.

"In order?" he asked me. I told him that was fine.

He paused for a split-second. "Do you mind if I pretend these are all theoretical questions only?"

I shrugged.

"Okay then. Here goes nothing," he said. "Yes, as long as you are careful, you should be fine. Same answer to the second question. Just... really be careful you don't squeeze too hard. You'll break ribs or cause any number of other injuries. But generally, yes, you should be safe hugging and holding hands. As for kissing, keep your lips closed and you have nothing to worry about. Well, of course, it would be best not to press too hard either. As for other things, your main concern must always be your venom, of course."

I nodded. I knew this. I was well aware that my venom incinerated living cells upon contact.

"Right. So as much as you need to be careful not to break Jasper, you also need to be exceedingly vigilant about your venom. There are a few things that can help in that department, however. But we'll get there. As for the fact that you learned how to take care of your uh, need, that's fantastic. In terms of what it felt like, if you thought it was unpleasant physically, then I suppose we can talk about that, but I'm fairly certain that's not what you meant. Judging by the state of your pants when you walked in the door, I assume you figured out the physical part out well enough. I think that perhaps the act just wasn't as fulfilling to you emotionally as it was physically. And that's okay. You may need to take care of those things separately. And of course there's nothing wrong with you, and doing that is not rude or immoral or anything else your parents may have told you 90 years ago. That's an outdated belief you need not subscribe to. That said, destroying someone's pine tree or other property is quite rude, but—"

"Well, I thought maybe I should send them a check to cover the damages?" I asked.

That stopped him for a moment. "Exactly how much damage did you do? You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know. If it was that bad, perhaps just mail them some cash without a return address."

I nodded. That would work.

"Okay, now, where were we? I also think there is a strong possibility Jasper will want you to be his boyfriend at some point. And if you decide to do that, it doesn't mean anything more than you decide it does. It makes you, you. There are indeed other gay vampires, and they seem to be entirely happy. I'm not sure that I know of any that are vegetarians, but I could ask around if you like. As for humans and vampires having relationships, that's tricky, as I'm sure you can imagine. It is more common than I'd like that vampires have relations with humans, but the human rarely survives such encounters. I'm sure I don't need to go into detail?"

I shook my head. I knew the stories.

"I'm sure vampire law probably does not condone relationships with humans, seeing that it would mean our identity would most likely be compromised. So I am sure, technically, having a relationship with Jasper is probably not a good idea. However, Esme and I have discussed it and believe in you and your decisions and happiness. And we believe you'll make the right decisions and do the right thing and that somehow this will work out for you. I am sure that deep-down your siblings agree though their antics might indicate otherwise."

I frowned. Not that I didn't want to believe him, but he was putting altogether too much faith in me.

"As for the rest of your questions," Carlisle paused and cleared his throat. "Well... I guess..."

"God, Carlisle, just tell him about butt sex!" Emmett called from downstairs.

Then I heard someone smack Emmett with some sort of rolled magazine or newspaper.

"What? Do you have a problem with butt sex?" his voice boomed through the house.

A half-second later Alice hissed, "No, you ass, it's just that now they know we're listening!"

Carlisle rolled his eyes while I sighed. Must everything be a family affair?

"Oh Carlisle, how do vampires and humans have sex?" Emmett quoted me in a high-pitched voice.

"Very carefully!" Rosalie answered back before cracking up with the rest of my siblings. I think I even heard Esme snicker from the other end of the house. Good god.

Carlisle looked at me. "Do you want to finish this conversation outside?"

"Sure," I stood up to leave through Carlisle's window with him when the door to the office burst open and my brother burst into the room.

"No way. I'll take it from here," Emmett said, entering the office. "Don't worry. I got this Carlisle."

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Uh, okay?" I agreed as Emmett pulled me out the window and across our lawn and deep into the woods, the full moon lighting our way.

I knew we'd be running for awhile. I knew from years of experience that Emmett was just better at communicating while doing so.

We ran in silence for a few minutes before Emmett finally started talking.

"Okay, you've got three things to consider if you wanna do the nasty with Jasper, and that's not even taking into account the fact that you are constantly gonna want to drink him. That's just a given. Anyway, the first is easy. Just don't break him, crush him, stab him, etc. But you know that. The next thing to consider is who's gonna top and who's gonna bottom."

He glanced over at me to verify I knew exactly what he meant by that. Apparently he was unconvinced, because he stopped short and crudely demonstrated. I watched him out of the corner of my eye while pretending to ignore his actions. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but I wasn't exactly in the situation to be turning down any information whatsoever either.

I found that his exaggerated ass-slapping was a nice touch as he illustrated the "top" role, but as for his "bottom" demo, well, I just wasn't sure humans could even bend like that.

After his little show he ran to catch up with me. "Okay, well, you have to think about it? I'm not even going to begin to tell you how that's going to work, or how you want to handle all that or what Jasper's prefers," he grimaced. "But let me just say that I have no idea how in the fucking world a human would be strong enough to top a vampire."

I picked my chin up off the ground. "Oh, well, I hadn't really thought, I mean, I don't know, I mean...really?"

"That's okay," he said as he punched my arm. "You can try anything you want, but I'm just sayin', that shit's tight."

I had no words.

Luckily, he seemed as eager as I was glad to leave the subject behind after that. I just wasn't sure I was ready for any of this after all. I mean, everyone always seemed to indicate that sex was so great, but, I could barely think about it and I certainly couldn't imagine Jasper considering such a thing.

Emmett must have read the doubt written across my features. "Trust me, Eddie-boy, he's thought about it."

I looked up. How could he know that? Emmett swatted me on the ass and took off even faster toward the east. "You're the only male who doesn't think about sex constantly. And if you're the way he swings, he's envisioned it many a time, bro."

And thinking about that made me run directly into a large spruce, damaging my second tree in about four hours.

XXXXX

My talk with Emmett was actually somewhat enlightening. After peeling me off the side of the tree, it was time to talk venom.

"Trojans are your best friend," Emmett had said. Before I could begin to consider why I ought to befriend several long-dead Greeks, he continued. "Durex, Lifestyles, whatever you can find." He stared down at my groin for a moment. I moved to cover myself but he had already looked away and was smirking. "You're a Large. You can buy 'em in bulk online." He then said he'd offer some of his to me but that they'd be too big, given that he was an extra large. Though we were apparently at the stage where it was okay to peruse each other's groins, I decided it was still impolite to question him further on the matter.

"Seriously, if you get venom on him it's gonna burn. Just don't. As long as you stay with synthetic products you'll be fine and the venom won't get through. But anything organic, including your boy's hand, mouth, anywhere," he paused and shuddered. "Anywhere that you get venom, he'll pay the price."

"How do you even know this?" I asked incredulously.

"Rosalie told me. Apparently those Denali sisters seem to have a decent amount of fun with those rugged Alaskan men, and it's the same whether you're a dude or a chick. Venom is venom. And apparently, if you're human, it ain't good."

"Well, that's uh, great, Emmett... thanks," I said, thinking we were finished. Evidently, I was incorrect.

"I thought you wanted tips?" he asked.

"Uh, no, I think I'm good," I explained. I had had enough. If Jasper and I ever got to the point where I might need a tip, I knew I could call Emmett. But after all of the dangers and decisions now crowding my mind, I seriously doubted I'd need his advice anytime soon, if ever.

"Oh thank god. I was starting to wonder how long I could keep talking about this with a straight face," he grinned as we turned back to begin our journey back toward the house.

"Wait, Emmett? Actually, I did have just one more little question," I asked hesitantly. "I just wanted to know, can I kiss him? Because that's sort of all I really want to do right now, but Carlisle said it was okay with our mouths closed. I guess that means I should keep mine shut at all times, right? Because of the venom?"

I sighed. I'd never noticed before, but this whole being highly-venomous thing had the potential to be a real drag.

"It depends on whether your man likes his tonsils to tingle. From what the girls told Rosalie, as long as you swallow all the excess venom in your mouth, it shouldn't actually hurt a human when you kiss, but apparently it might feel pretty tingly, and he might be a bit swollen afterward, sort of like a mild allergic reaction."

I nodded. I wondered what Jasper would think of that. Because as long as it didn't permanently damage his lips or hurt too badly if I kiss them, I sort of wanted to do just that.

"Thanks Emmett, I owe you," I told him seriously.

"No prob. I just couldn't picture Carlisle trying to explain pitching and catching. But will you do me a favor? Plug your ears for a moment," he said.

I did, and started humming one of my favorite Debussy sonata motifs to help further block out any sound.

But even through my hands, I could hear Emmett's string of profanities ring out clearly through the night air.

Pussy, breasts, nipples, cunt...

In an apparent attempt to reassert his heterosexuality, he called out every term he could think of related to a woman's anatomy for all the world to hear.

XXXXX

After returning home with Emmett, armed with all sorts of new information, it was time to pack my things and return to campus.

I departed the next morning following a tearful good bye from Esme, a hug and a good luck wish from Carlisle, a punch from Emmett, a sloppy, lipsticky smootch on the cheek from Alice and a "if that boy breathes a word and I have to move again I swear I will tear you limb from limb and set fire to your remains," from Rosalie, which probably sounds more vicious than it was. After all, her threat was pretty much standard operating procedure for vampires. Also, she patted me on the head while saying it.

My siblings would all be returning to their separate campuses within the next few days as well. I knew Alice was headed back on Wednesday and Rosalie and Emmett were leaving the following weekend. I wondered if Esme and Carlisle wouldn't enjoy the peace and quiet for awhile.

After getting back to my room, I unpacked my few toiletries and my clothing quickly. And then suddenly I was utterly bored. I suppose I could have gone and practiced the piano for a bit in the music school or perhaps played a computer game for awhile. But all I really wanted to do was see Jasper, of course.

I debated calling him and offering to help him unpack his things, but suddenly I worried he might read something into my call. What if he thought that it meant I wanted him to bottom? Not that I didn't, I wasn't sure what if anything I wanted, but what if he thought that was what I wanted? But then again, what if he thought I thought that was what he wanted? Everything was suddenly so much more confusing. I really maybe just wanted to kiss Jasper a little bit, but suddenly everyone had to have a role and responsibilities and well, I just didn't know how to proceed at this point.

After debating whether placing and receiving a telephone call was an indication of sexual preferences for a few more minutes, I decided it was best to refrain for the time being, just in case.

While I booted up my laptop intending to purchase the books I'd need for my classes that semester, my own cell phone rang.

Jasper.

Could I answer it? If I did, would he think that I wanted to be the bottom? Not that I didn't, I wasn't sure what if anything I wanted, but what if he thought that was what I wanted? But then again, what if he thought I thought that was what he wanted?

During the second ring, I debated possibly letting the call go to voice mail and then calling him right back. Even I had trouble deciding what, if anything that could mean sexually.

But then, maybe Jasper would just think I wanted to both top and bottom. Oh dear. This was all far too confusing.

Ah, fuck it. I wanted to talk to Jasper.

"Hello?" I answered.

And then the most beautiful voice in the world asked me if I wanted to join him while he drank a beer.

I wasn't stupid. I knew that it meant I thought he thought I thought he thought I thought he thought I probably wanted to bottom, but I just didn't care. So I quickly agreed, and we settled on meeting a few hours later at a local pub.

XXXXX

I couldn't stop grinning while I walked to meet Jasper at the pub later that day. I felt pretty good about things; after all, he had Googled me. Of course, I'd returned the favor, but he didn't know that. Also, it turns out that other than a posting that he was on his high school's honor roll and swim team nearly ten years prior, the Internet didn't have much to say on Jasper. I found that surprising. Had I been a reporter, I would have written so much about him. He was so... fascinating.

Also, I had been careful to select an outfit that I was fairly certain was not indicative of any sexual preferences. So all things considered, I was feeling confident about meeting Jasper.

When I arrived he was already seated with a beer in his hand. I quickly walked over, breathing deeply and letting his tantalizing aroma wash over me. It had been almost 24 hours since I'd last smelled him and it seemed far too long.

His face lit up when he saw me.

He was sunshine and warmth and soft gold curls.

If 24 hours was too long to go without smelling Jasper, it was way too long to go without seeing him. He sort of took my breath away, which was fine, because I suppose I didn't technically need it anyway.

I sat down with him and smiled when I saw he was drinking blueberry beer. Of course, Jasper immediately apologized for starting without me, but I assured him that it was fine. It wasn't like I'd be drinking anything.

We soon started talking about the start of our classes the next day, and how the end of our break had gone. He mentioned casually at one point that he thought he might sleep better back on campus, because the wildlife had been keeping him up recently. Considering it could have been nightmares of vampires that kept him awake, I counted myself fortunate that it was only my nocturnal activities in his pine tree that caused him any trouble sleeping. And I certainly was never going to do that again, I thought, recalling my vow.

All told, I found it rather amazing that he could just sit with me, without fear, and have a conversation. Of course, it wasn't a great location for him to be grilling me further about my identity, but I still hadn't fully come to grips with the fact that he simply wanted to spend time with me.

And I definitely did not read anything into his comment when he told me he liked my top.

A beer turned into three before it was time for Jasper to go.

Outside of the pub, he hugged me, as was becoming our customary goodbye. The hug was approximately 3.5 seconds longer than our previous one had been, however, so I felt like we were making a certain amount of progress. And I just loved the way he felt in my arms; his heartbeat always made me feel so alive.

When he left for his car he waved goodbye with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes, and I couldn't help but wonder what came next for Jasper and me. But for now, I simply called after him as he walked away. "I'll see you soon!"

For of course, I wouldn't be leaving him alone for very long.

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A/N: Carlisle and Esme very much enjoyed their time alone after the "kids" all went back to school. Of course, for the first six hours, they cleaned and repaired all of their various property damaged by Edward, Rosalie, Alice and Emmett during the holidays. Then, after a leisurely hunting trip, the spent the next six hours simply standing and staring into each other's eyes. The next two and a half days were spent repeatedly making incredibly loud, fuckhot vampire love in every corner of the house and the kitchen twice, which makes perfect sense if you've ever seen Carlisle. I mean, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for drinking deer.