Fic: Said and Done (13/25)

[icmezzo_archive]

Said and done

Synopsis: Graduate students Edward and Jasper feel the connection, but is it enough to overcome their differences? (E/J slash, vamp/human, comedy/romance, rated NC-17)

Click here to reach the SaD Masterpost.

Chapter 13: Sighs, sneezes, gasps, and groans


A/N: Also, yes, there is such a thing as blueberry beer. I guess I didn't realize it was regional. And, surprisingly, it isn't necessarily considered "girly." The novelty and deliciousness surpasses gender, I suppose.

Thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing this and every chapter.

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc., mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express authorization.

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Chapter 13: Sighs, sneezes, gasps, and groans

After saying goodbye to Jasper, I headed back to my room to change into some dark clothing. As soon as I had done so, I was again out the door, and on my way across campus. My destination was somewhere in the proximity of Jasper, but there was an important pit stop along the way—the resident director's office for graduate housing. For although I could have simply torn doors off hinges to gain access to Jasper's suite, I had decided that I had damaged enough property recently. Also, I was reluctant to climb through vents because they tended to be quite dirty.

When I reached the deserted housing office, I slipped in through an unlocked window, and quickly made my way to the closet containing the master keys. I found a few sets of keys labeled with the name of Jasper's building, so I pocketed one, and made my way back out the window and headed toward my Jasper.

I ducked into the shadows when I had gotten close enough to Jasper's building to both smell and hear him. Judging by the placement of the moon in the sky, it was approximately 8:01 p.m. Also, I could hear the introductory music to "Home Makeover: Extreme Edition" playing on a nearby television.

Jasper's room seemed fairly quiet. He must have been lying on his bed typing. I heard his mattress springs on occasion, as well as the sound of his fingers typing away on his laptop. Whatever it was that he was writing, I could tell he was struggling; I repeatedly heard the distinctive sound of a pinky hitting a backspace key.

I was happy to listen to Jasper from the shadows and smell his appealing scent from afar. But the thought of getting closer, perhaps close enough to watch him, became more and more enticing.

I glanced toward his window on the second floor. There was a tree nearby that I could have climbed, but his curtains were closed. So I supposed that option was out, and perhaps that was a good thing.

After another moment or two of thought, I decided that the only way to get closer was to actually go inside the building. Of course, I would have been given access through the front door by showing my campus ID to the security guard. However, I'd accidentally left my ID in the sexually-ambiguous pants I'd changed out of after meeting Jasper earlier in the evening.

Luckily though, I now possessed my own key, so I could simply use the building's back door. I thought for a minute about what Jasper would think of my using the rear entrance, but then decided that I'd better never tell him. It was far too easy to make assumptions based on that choice.

I darted to the back of the building and tried approximately three of the seven keys in my possession before I found the one that opened the creaking door for me. I cringed at the noise. It seemed impossibly loud to me, but I knew that unless a human was in my immediate proximity, I was probably safe.

Once inside I found myself in a very inglorious basement. I dodged the spider webs and avoided the stacks of cleaning supplies and random tools scattered about. I navigated my way to the stairs, and once I'd reached the top I reached for the door handle, hoping that there would be no lock preventing me from entering the public hallway on the other side. But before turned the knob I decided I had better listen for the presence of any humans that might happen to be on the other side of the door.

It was a good thing that I did, because unfortunately, the coast was not clear. Two students stood on the other side of the door chattering about the start of the classes the next day. In my impatience to get to closer to Jasper, I found myself rather frustrated at being forced to wait for them to finish this most mundane conversation.

And when two other students joined the first pair, I realized that luck was not on my side. At this point it would have been quicker to have just gone back to my room for my ID and used the front door.

But before I could decide whether this run of bad luck was enough to warrant completely calling off my Jasper-surveillance for the evening, I noticed that the humans had changed their topic of conversation to one I found a good deal more interesting.

They were discussing Jasper, or as they referred to him, "that guy in 24b." Except they apparently knew a different side of Jasper than I did.

"He's so hot," one of the girls giggled.

Okay, well, I knew that part. He was a scorching fire to me, of course.

"I hear he is unattached," said another girl. "At least, I never see anyone visit his room."

"Well, after last year, it's, like, no wonder. I'm surprised he's not, like, totally depressed," said the first.

Wait, what? What happened last year?

"I know, right? I'd have dropped out, I think," said a third girl.

"God, I'd be so depressed I'd want to kill myself," commented another.

I gasped. For the love of god, what happened to Jasper?

"I wonder where he went for Christmas?" asked the last girl.

I heard several sets of shoulder's shrug.

"Still though, he is totally hot," the first girl said again, and the others quickly agreed.

But I had enough by then. I couldn't listen to anything more. I was going crazy! What had happened to my Jasper?

I decided it was worth confusing a few undergrads to be free from my basement hideaway. After all, they were already at least a little confused; they thought Jasper was unattached.

I burst through the door and acted as though I was supposed to have been in the basement.

"Excuse me, ladies," I murmured as I walked past them, ignoring their gaping mouths, and brushing the cobwebs from my hair and the dust from my clothes. I'm sure they were wondering what I was doing behind the door marked "Staff only" but I wasn't sure I cared. Instead of directing one more ounce of my attention to the undergrads, I simply headed for the stairs that would lead to Jasper.

When I reached his floor, I gave a quick listen to see what his neighbors were up to. Their activities seemed relatively uninteresting. Two were clearly having sex, but most were either watching football, Skyping, or not home at all.

I crept over to the door to Jasper's suite. All was quiet within, but for his breathing and heartbeat and the like.

It calmed me to be near him. Whatever happened in the past, I would have to do my very best to make him happy going forward.

Desperate for a glimpse of Jasper, I bent over to see if I could peer under his door or through his keyhole. Unfortunately these quickly proved fruitless. However, at that moment, I heard Jasper get off his bed and walk through his suite in my direction. Having been inside his apartment when we had been working together on our project last semester I could clearly envision him passing his utilitarian couch and sparsely decorated walls.

He passed rather close by the door and I wondered if he was headed for his kitchenette when he suddenly took a deep breath and stopped short. His heart skipped a beat. And then he reached for the door handle.

Knowing the 2-inch door separating us was about to be swung wide open, I did what any proper spy would do. I bolted. In this case, I dashed down the hall and into the public men's bathroom that served many of the undergraduates living on the floor.

I ducked into one of the stalls and slammed the door behind me, nearly ripping the metal hinges from their frame in the process.

Just then, I heard someone enter and start to brush his teeth in a nearby sink. Another bang of the door signaled another person entering, and this one got into a shower. Before the teeth-brusher left, a third entered and I listened uncomfortably to the cacophony around me: Bristles against uneven enamel, urine not entirely finding its target in a urinal, and the sound of soap being lathered across normally hidden body parts.

I stayed put in my stall, hoping for a break in the action when I could slip back into the hallway and head back outside to my original hiding place, which I now determined was a far better observation spot. The bathroom was hopping, however, as the various males on Jasper's floor used it while preparing for bed, so I was a bit stuck.

I sighed.

"You okay, man?"

I was caught off-guard as one of the males inquired about my well-being from just outside my stall.

"Uh, yes, thanks," I replied. I flushed the toilet for good measure.

"Got it," he said. Except that when he walked into the hallway, I heard him whisper, "Dude, there's a guy who has been on the can in there for like 35 minutes."

"Nasty," the other voice replied.

I rolled my eyes. Humans were utterly ridiculous. I had only been in there for 24 minutes.

Finally, after about 20 more minutes, the bathroom was empty. I darted out of the stall and to the exit, thankful to be free from my awkward hiding space. Except that as I did so, I ran directly into Jasper as he was putting the key into his suite door. He carried a coffee and his room keys, both of which he nearly dropped when he saw me.

"Edward! What are you doing here?" he asked. But before I could answer, he asked another question, possibly more uncomfortable and certainly more incriminating that the first. "Wait, how long have you been here?"

I gulped. "42 minutes."

He nodded. "I thought I smelled you when I was leaving earlier."

It was my turn to drop open my mouth in shock. He smelled me?

"Wanna come in?" he asked after a moment, once he'd successfully opened his door.

I nodded, and entered his space.

So I'd failed in my secret surveillance mission, but certainly there'd be so many more. I didn't even really need to let my family know, I decided. This one was really just practice anyway.

Jasper grabbed his coffee and sat down facing me on his couch.

"So, not that I'm not glad to see you again, but next time you might want to call first in case I'm not home," he said.

I hesitated. I'd known he was home, because I could smell him a mile away. But I wasn't sure if I should remind him of that. It didn't seem very polite to disagree. So eventually I just nodded.

He looked deep in thought for a minute before he eventually turned to me.

"I was trying to decide if I should be upset with you for just coming over unannounced, but I'm just not angry about it. I kind of like that you felt comfortable enough to just stop by. Can I stop by your room sometimes too?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied.

"Good," he grinned, handing me his coffee.

I raised my eyebrows, confused. Did he want me to drink it?

He laughed at my response. "It's too hot. I was hoping you'd cool it down for me."

Ahh. That was something I could easily do to help. I wrapped my cool hand around the cup.

"Actually, I burned my hand a little bit too when I carried the coffee back here to my room," he said in a deep voice while examining my face. "Do you want to help my hand cool off too?"

"Umm, yes?" I guessed that was the right answer. At least I hoped it was.

"Good," he said, his voice very low indeed, and he pressed his hand into mine.

After a few minutes, he took his coffee back and took a long sip, smacking his perfect lips slightly afterward. His hand, however, he left in mine.

Meanwhile, I debated how to ask him about what I'd overheard in the hallway. I decided to start off easy.

I tried to sound nonchalant. "So, while I was, err, waiting for you, I overheard a few students chatting about you."

He looked over. "Yeah?"

I nodded. "They said you were unattached."

I paused and picked at a string on the couch. "So, um, are you?"

"I don't know, am I? I mean, I don't care what they think, but I sure care about your thoughts," he replied. "And, I don't know what else you want to call this," he said, as put his coffee down and motioned back and forth between us. "But I would say I am attached. Yes, if nothing else, I am certainly growing attached."

Suddenly holding his hand was no longer enough. If he was okay with attached, then I wanted to be attached. I reached over and lightly pulled him closer, and turned him, so he sat right against me, hip to hip. And then I felt him lean against me.

Perfect, I hummed. "Yes. I, too, am attached," I agreed.

Jasper sighed.

Wait. Was that a happy sigh or a sad sigh? What if I'd been misinterpreting all of his sighs all this time. What if he was actually depressed like those girls downstairs had mentioned? And something finally clicked into place. The girl had said she'd be so depressed she'd want to kill herself if she was in Jasper's position. What if he was, and did? And what if Jasper only wanted to be with me because I was his weapon of choice?

It was immediately after I voiced these concerns that I found myself once again standing in the hallway outside of Jasper's rooms, except this time, instead of opening the door, he slammed it in my face.

XXXXX

I sat down outside of Jasper's door. I could pretty much stay there indefinitely. I didn't need bathroom breaks, and I wouldn't need to feed for at least 12 days. And who cares if I skipped classes? I had infinite time at my disposal. I'd just finish up next semester instead if it came to it. I'd simply wait outside of Jasper's room until he forgave me.

So I sat. And I waited. The few students that were still in the hallways at that late hour simply stepped around me, or over my outstretched legs. I just stared at the ceiling.

I heard Jasper sit down on the other side of the door, and felt his warmth where he leaned against it. After a few minutes, I heard him sigh, and I was pretty sure it was a sad one.

It broke my heart. I never meant to hurt Jasper, but I'd clearly offended him very badly. I turned and pressed my cheek to do the door, and whispered another apology just loudly enough for him to hear.

After about a half hour I heard him get up and move to his couch and turned on his television. He flipped through the channels for the next few minutes, never settling on a show, although he did pause a bit when the History channel came on. But apparently even that failed to hold his interest.

Another few minutes later and he spoke. "Edward, I know you're still there. Will you please go home?"

"No," I replied stubbornly.

"Fine," he sighed again. "Well then you might as well come in."

Before he had time to close his mouth, I had opened the door and stepped inside, and just in time to notice him rise to his feet and step toward the door.

His mouth dropped open. "How… did you… unlock?"

I gulped. "Err, key."

He held his hand out. "Give it."

I shook my head. "I, uh, what? I don't have a key. I was kidding. Haha." I chuckled weakly.

"Edward," he warned. "Give me the key."

The look in his eyes made me rather quickly decide to hand over the pilfered keys. He was serious.

I took the set of keys out of my pocket and placed them in his hand. He looked at them and blinked slowly.

"Okay, now please go out in the hallway again," he said.

I started to protest but he walked to the door and opened it for me and pointed to the hallway. I went. And without a word he shut the door behind me again.

I sat on the floor with a humph and returned to contemplating the patterns in the speckled carpeting.

At 1 a.m., he came and opened the door.

"Okay, get in here," he said. "I need some honest answers, okay?"

I nodded, staring at my feet, while he paced.

"Where'd you get the key? And why were you really here?" he asked.

"Mmmmreslife andmmm causemyfamilymademe," I mumbled.

"Why?" he asked.

I looked up. "They think you might tell someone about us, even if just by accident. So I'm supposed to keep an eye on you."

He sighed. "This is hard. Because of the sort of extraordinary circumstances here I can almost understand. Almost. But even so, it's just not okay with me. I need you to trust me."

"But I do!" I protested. "It's my family…"

"This is about you and me, Edward, not them. Look, I want to be with you most of the time anyway, so why don't you just call me and ask to come be with me, and then I'll say 'yes,' and then you can watch me all the time, and you won't have to use that master key of yours again. And, by the way, first thing tomorrow, you are taking it back to Res Life."

I agreed quickly.

"Now, tell me why you think I'm depressed and only want to be with you because I'm suicidal?" he asked after a moment.

"Well, because I'm a vampire," I replied. It made perfect sense. "You'd have to be suicidal to want to be with me."

He groaned. "I want to be with you because—at least most of the time—I think you're interesting and caring and honest and smart and hilarious, and we just click. Not to mention that you're the most handsome man I've ever seen. Not because I'm suicidal. I trust you won't hurt me. But why on earth would you think I am depressed? Have I ever acted depressed?"

"No, but the girls downstairs said…" I trailed off.

"You hear everything with those ears of yours, so I would expect that you should know by now not to trust everything people say. Those girls don't have a clue about me."

And with that, Jasper began telling me his story. How he'd grown up with his parents and older brother in Texas. How he'd been visiting his family at Christmas the previous year when tragedy had struck. How he'd been the one driving his family home from a holiday party when they'd been hit by another car. How his parents were killed instantly and how he'd been unable to save his brother from the wreckage in time and had later watched his brother succumb to his injuries in the hospital. And how it continues to shake him to his core, but how he's decided to live for them instead of not. And how my comment had offended him so greatly for that very reason, because he'd promised himself that he'd never submit to the depression that occasionally hovered around the edges threatening to slip through the cracks should he not be paying attention. And how when he was with me he sometimes forgot about his vow to live and instead just lived.

He was clearly better at keeping his vows that I was.

Eventually I'd gotten him to sit with me so I could hold him and comfort him as I cried dry tears for his pain. And I told him that my immortality virtually guaranteed he would never have to fear my departure and that I'd never leave unless he wanted me to, and that even if he did want me to go, I'd still be right outside his door waiting. And I kissed him lightly on his forehead after saying just that, with my lips tightly closed, of course.

And he looked at me with glassy eyes and a tear halfway down his cheek after I'd done so. So I kissed his tear off his cheek because I couldn't help myself. And I suppose he kissed my cheek right back and then my forehead and then my other cheek and held his face against mine for awhile, likely because he couldn't control himself either.

And then, he broke contact and stood quickly while yawning. It was 2:30 a.m., and classes started in the morning.

"I'm sorry, I'm exhausted, I hafta go to bed," he explained.

"Okay," I said. "I'll just wait outside in the hall until morning."

"What, are you afraid I'll shout 'Edward is a vampire!' in my sleep?" he asked.

"Of course not," I said. "But I promised I wouldn't leave you."

"Then don't," he said. "Stay here." He tossed me a pillow and blanket. "I know you don't sleep, so will the couch be alright? You can watch TV or a DVD."

I quickly agreed. That was fine with me. I didn't need a pillow, blanket, or television. Just listening to Jasper's heart could entertain me for hours on end. And when I had enough of that, I'd simply start focusing on his sweet even breathing.

And so he went to bed, and so I waited. And while I listened, I tried to remember the reasons why he said he liked me instead of contemplating whether he only preferred me because of my immortality, knowing I could never leave him because of a tragic car accident. Even I knew that was a question that could never be asked.

And later, when he was deep asleep, I may have sneaked in to watch him, but only for an hour, and always maintaining at least a few centimeters of distance between our bodies, except for that one point when my hair must have brushed his nose, because I barely had time to make it back to the couch before he started sneezing violently.

After that, I stayed glued to the couch like a good vampire, waiting for Jasper to wake. And I swear, I only touched myself once, but his sleepy moan was so perfect, I just couldn't help it.

By the time the sun rose the next morning, I had a plan. I wanted to take care of him, so the last thing I wanted to do was keep him up all night before his first day of classes. I didn't want him to be so tired that he was unable to concentrate.

The least I could do, I thought, was make sure he went off to his first class sufficiently fed and watered, or at least, in Jasper's case, coffee'd. I knew he'd be unable to focus and learn with low blood sugar and an empty stomach.

So, food and coffee it was. It sounded so simple. Execution was another matter, however.

I pulled out my iPhone and searched for coffee recipes. I wanted to do this right.

Luckily, the majority of the recipes agreed only two ingredients were necessary: Coffee grinds and hot water. Well, I could smell the coffee beans Jasper had stored in his kitchenette and water was never in low supply in rainy Washington, so that was perfect. I sneaked through his kitchen area and quickly located a French press. I then Googled its make and model to make sure I used it properly. One read through was sufficient for my mind to absorb and so I was quite confident I could make a cup of appropriate strength for Jasper once he arose.

Food, however, was going to be more of a challenge. A glance through Jasper's pantry proved he had little other than what appeared to be incredibly stale pretzels, a myriad of spices, and a half of a rotting fruit that even I had to study for a moment to determine that it was once a lemon. I suppose it made sense that he hadn't purchased food yet, having only returned to campus the day before, but the lack of ingredients was going to be a challenge in terms of my plan to feed Jasper.

While I was Googling whether it was possible to make pancakes out of ground up pretzels, I heard Jasper's alarm start to go off. I dashed back to the couch so he wouldn't know I'd been snooping in the kitchen. I wanted to surprise him with my plans for his breakfast.

After a minute, Jasper emerged from his bedroom, yawning and stretching. He met my eyes with a sleepy grin. "Hey," he greeted me.

"Hey," I said back, trying not to watch his abdomen as he unintentionally bared it to me while scratching his stomach beneath his t-shirt.

"You okay here for 15 minutes?" he asked. "I'm gonna shower."

"Of course!" I replied. "Take your time." And I meant it. I needed as much time as he'd give me.

As soon as he moved to the bathroom and turned on the vent, I ran to the kitchen and threw coffee beans in his grinder. Simultaneously, I placed a mug of water in his microwave. While that heated, I placed the fresh grounds into the French press. And then I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, two minutes later, the water was hot and I poured it over top of the grounds.

Knowing I now had only four minutes until the coffee was finished, I darted out of the apartment and down to the nearest dining hall. I hoped I could talk the dining hall staff for a bit of sugar, some flour, a few eggs, and a couple of the other ingredients I would need to prepare Belgian waffles with blueberry topping for Jasper.

Though I rarely busted out all of the tools I had at my disposal, my limited time frame made me do just that.

To get through into the dining hall in the first place, I handed the cashier at the door a crisp $50. My entrance into the kitchen itself was a little harder, but nothing that a little eye batting and flattery couldn't take care of. But when I sneaked into the tremendous refrigerator, I found no blueberries. Unfortunately, it was while I was Googling a different sort of fruit topping I could use as a substitute, a cook found me standing in the dark walk-in freezer and proceeded to throw me out of the dining hall altogether. At least I managed to snag two blueberry muffins on as I let the livid cook drag me to the door. I thought I at least deserved those. After all, I'd paid $50 and practically cheated on Jasper to get them.

I dashed as quickly as humans thought possible back up to Jasper's room. I knew I was late, but only by a few minutes. Shit. I'd still have to start over with the coffee.

Except that when I got back to Jasper's room, I found I had an even bigger problem.

I was locked out.

And this time I didn't have a key. Dammit.

I knocked on the door. No answer. I could hear that Jasper was in his bathroom, and it sounded like the shower was turned off. Maybe he hadn't heard my knock. It sounded like maybe he was brushing his teeth. I waited for him to turn the sink off before knocking again.

"Jasper?" I called lightly with my face pressed to the door. "Jasper?"

Still no response from him.

"Jasper, it's me. I mean, it's Edward. Can you let me in?" I called again, louder.

Nothing. Since when did it take so long to floss? And I was getting desperate. His coffee was getting more and more ruined as I stood there, and who knows how fresh the muffins were to begin with.

I sighed, gathered a lungful of sweet Jasper air and finally bellowed, "JASPER, IT'S EDWARD. LET ME IN!" I paused. I didn't want anyone to think me impolite. "PLEASE?"

Suddenly, I heard Jasper throw open the bathroom door and dart to his front door, which he immediately pulled open for me. "Shhh! You're going to wake everyone up!" he said. "Not everyone has 8 a.m. classes and those that don't aren't going to be happy that you just did that. Now, get in here!"

"Well, if you'd give me my keys back, I wouldn't have had to do tha—" I stopped short as I recognized that it was indeed a very wet-haired and nearly naked Jasper that was standing before me.

I gulped and stared as a rivulet of water ran down his still-wet chest until it finally met the towel wrapped around his waist.

Just a towel.
Just a towel.
Just a small towel.

He was beautiful. And he was wearing just a small towel.

I darted in from the hallway and shut the door hard behind me. I didn't want anyone else in the world to see Jasper so exposed. And I didn't want to Jasper to see what he was doing to me either, so I quickly headed to the kitchen.

"Uh, I, uh, breakfast, er, muffins," I said. My voice cracked a bit, but other than that, I was pretty sure I pulled off a casual enough tone.

"Great, let me just..." he trailed off.

I could feel his eyes on my retreating form. "Uh, sure. No problem. Take your time. I won't go anywhere. I'm just gonna, yeah..."

"Right," he coughed, and head into his room to dress.

A few minutes later, he emerged, this time fully clothed, and met me in the kitchen just as I was pouring a new fresh mug of coffee into a mug I'd found in his cabinet.

"I was going to make waffles, but," I shrugged. "Well, I got muffins instead. Sorry they're a little squashed." I looked at the now sad-looking pastries. I guess I must have squeezed them a little by accident when a saw Jasper mostly naked.

"This is really great. Perfect, really. Thank you," he said, as he sat at his tiny table. I set the mug of coffee in front of him.

He reached for it, with a smile. "No one has made breakfast for me in a long, long time," he said shyly. "I can't believe you actua—"

As much as I wanted to hear what he had to say, I just had to cut him off when something very important occurred to me.

"Wait!" I cried before he could finish putting the mug to his lips. "It's hot!"

"Excellent," he replied, grinning.

Oh sure. Now he likes hot beverages.

I quickly cataloged this preference in the "What I know about Jasper" section of my brain. I was pleased it was growing daily. After all, I now knew many of Jasper's likes.

Hot coffee.
Cold water.
Blueberries.
The guitar.
World history.

And me.

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A/N: That was the first night Jasper dreamed of Edward Cullen.

Haha. Just kidding. Jasper had been dreaming about Edward since chapter 3. And I have to say, some of those dreams were kinda hot.