Fic: Bloodshot: A Said and (Not Quite) Done Outtake

[icmezzo_archive]

A/N: I wrote this little SaD outtake for the awesomesauce YogaGal's birthday.

Click here to reach the SaD Masterpost.

The outtake occurs somewhere around chapter 22, so Jasper is still human.

Thanks to ArcadianMaggie and Missyfits for prereading and TwilightMundi for betaing!

Work Text:

Edward sat on Jasper's couch, perfectly still but for his knee, which bounced in a nervous manner. It was a habit he'd picked up from Jasper. (Other recently acquired habits included scratching his stomach when he was deep in thought and emitting a loud belch after dinner—Edward didn't actually eat; he just did it when Jasper finished.)

He was horror-stricken.

No matter how hard Edward thought about it or how hard he bounced his leg, he simply couldn't understand how Carlisle could have done such a thing to him. Despite what the note in his hands told him, it was simply incomprehensible.

Relax. Enjoy it. Besides, you have to learn how to stop. - Carlisle

Edward wanted to snort every time he read the note Jasper had handed him from his father, but that would have meant breathing, and under the circumstances, breathing was not something Edward was interested in doing.

Because he knew what he would smell when he did.

Blood.

Human blood.

Human blood that Edward was meant to drink.

It was a pint, to be specific, and it was currently housed in Jasper's refrigerator, waiting for him. It wasn't exactly hot and pulsing, or even particularly fresh—it had been donated to the hospital by a young woman a few days prior but was unusable to the human population because she had recently visited a country plagued by malaria. Carlisle had snagged it before it had been disposed of. And thankfully, it was AB+, Edward's least favorite. For these reasons alone, Edward's normally golden eyes remained jet black and were not already a brilliant red.

"Can I come out yet?" Jasper called from behind the locked bathroom door, where he'd been banished until Edward regained control.

"NO!" Edward yelped, reading Carlisle's note yet again, seeking guidance. But even with his senses sharpened thanks to the scent of plasma that had invaded his brain, he was at a loss.

How could Carlisle have put them in this position, and why had Jasper asked him to? Edward thought back to the conversation that had gotten him into this predicament.

It was a few days prior and Edward had spent a good deal of time rolling his eyes as the sweet smell of marijuana floated through Jasper's dorm, very typical for a Thursday night on campus. To be fair, however, rolling his eyes was one of Edward's only options. He'd never experienced pot himself and smoking was not only completely ineffective for a vampire, it was downright hazardous considering his extreme flammability.

But before Edward could roll his eyes yet another time (for emphasis), he was distracted by the trace of Jasper's fragrance in the air. It meant his boyfriend would be home within a few minutes. Delighted, Edward quickly sent off his latest Words with Friends entry ("bloodless" for 128 points) to Alice, and sat back to wait, trying to ignore the ever strengthening scent of Cannabis sativa wafting through the building.

Sure enough, Jasper let himself in the door a few minutes later, and quickly took off his coat and shoes before joining Edward, who sat wide-eyed, mouth-gaping on the couch.

Edward, of course, had realized the minute Jasper opened the door that for once it wasn't the undergrads next door that were in possession, but that it was his human who was apparently turning to recreational drug use. "Jasper!"

"Wait, before you say anything, let me explain," Jasper begged.

"But, Jasper! It's illegal! And what do you need drugs for anyway? Am I not enough for you?" Edward's mind raced. "Or is it for someone else?" He narrowed his eyes, and frowned. "Jasper, are you...are you a dealer?"

Jasper cackled and pulled the small bag out of his pocket. "Am I a dealer? Edward, this is barely enough for one person."

Edward huffed. "Still illegal."

"So is faking passports and identities," Jasper pointed out, which earned him another huff from his boyfriend.

"Edward, it's just a little pot. It's no different than us getting a beer. I'll keep the lighter far away from you and my hair—and eyebrows," he added quickly before Edward could interrupt. "And I certainly promise never to become a drug dealer or flunk out of school because I spend all of my time getting high. And you are absolutely everything that I need. I just thought this would be fun one night. Maybe this weekend. That's all."

Edward grunted in response and considered the situation. Now that his overprotective personality was mollified by Jasper's assurance he wasn't determined to throw his life away or end up in jail, it reverted back to his other natural emotional state: somewhat irrational jealousy.

Edward simply didn't want anything but himself touching Jasper's lips, and that included Mary Jane. But before he could tell Jasper that, thereby impressing his boyfriend with his knowledge of drug-related slang, Jasper's eyes lit up with an idea.

"Why don't you try it too?" he grinned.

Edward laughed. "It won't work. Believe me, Emmett has tried. Several times."

Jasper nodded. "So vampires can't get high or drunk or anything?"

"Nope. But that's okay. Blood—human blood, especially, is the only thing that comes close. But it doesn't matter. I hardly feel I'm missing out. You're the only drug I need," Edward told him seriously, grabbing his hand. "You're my personal brand of heroin."

"I know," Jasper said.

(He did. Edward told him every night as he went to sleep. He also repeatedly mentioned something about a lion and a lamb, but Jasper had never been able to make sense of that one because neither of them was particularly sheep-like, and he had asked once and Edward didn't even particularly like the taste of sheep. He also usually mentioned that Jasper was his life now, which was a lot of pressure, if Jasper was being honest. Frankly it was no wonder that Jasper wanted to smoke a little bit to unwind.)

"Good." Edward smiled and they drifted off into silence and it was during those few minutes that Jasper had decided that if he couldn't provide Edward with his personal brand of heroin, at least he could get Edward another variety to enjoy while Jasper smoked a bit.

The blood had been surprisingly easy to obtain. He'd emailed Carlisle, who had been eager to help, though he hadn't quite explained why. But he had provided Jasper with the pint of blood on short notice, and had given him instructions on how to warm it up along with the accompanying note for Edward. Carlisle had dropped it off that afternoon while Edward was at a concert with his piano professor.

But the moment Edward arrived home from the performance, Jasper realized he'd underestimated Edward's reaction. He'd expected some hesitancy before Edward bought into the idea, of course, but he hadn't been expecting to spend an hour and a half pacing in a locked bathroom while Edward freaked out in the living room.

Jasper sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub to wait when he heard Edward get up off the couch and walk slowly toward the kitchen. But when Edward opened the fridge and then slammed it shut whimpering, Jasper guessed it would be a while longer until he was released, as it was the fourth time Edward had done this in the last hour. Jasper was surprised when a few seconds later, he heard a soft knock on the bathroom door.

He hurried to unlock it. "Do you want to come in?"

Jasper interpreted Edward's soft whine as a yes, so he slowly opened the door.

Edward threw himself into Jasper's arms. Jasper held him tightly, stroking his back in an effort to calm him further.

"I'm sorry, I just thought it would be fun if we could both get a little high, that's all, and you said vampires only got high on blood, and then Carlisle seemed to think it was a good idea, so..."

Edward gave a strangled cry and held on tighter.

After some minutes of silence, Edward began mumbling into Jasper's shoulder. "Carlisle thinks it is a good idea because he wants me to learn how to stop drinking blood in front of you."

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"It's your scent. If I started drinking Carlisle's afraid I won't be able to stop, so this is practice."

"Practice for what?" Jasper still wasn't following.

"For...in case...in case...in case we have to invoke clause 39, section A(3)(g)(2)(iv) of our contract," Edward replied in a pained voice, eyebrows furrowed. "And I...have to...drink...a little...of you."

"Oh."

Edward nodded. "I can't begin to imagine how difficult it will be, but if I can't do it with a stranger's stale AB+, well, it doesn't bode well for what would happen if I had to... to..."

Jasper hushed Edward, and kissed his forehead, but Edward wasn't finished fretting. "And what if I drink that crappy blood and it makes me so crazy I just lose it and decide I want you and can't stop myself? I don't want to drink you!"

"You aren't gonna drink me, and you don't have to drink that blood." Jasper comforted him, knowing that pushing Edward was rarely the answer. He required a much more passive aggressive approach. "We'll just give it back to Carlisle. I didn't know. I just thought it would be a nice treat for you."

Edward shook his head but changed it halfway into a nod. Technically, it would have been a treat, but it was not one he thought he could indulge in under the circumstances. "Okay," he sniffed. "Maybe Rose wants it." She always liked treats.

"So you ready to leave the bathroom? Do we need to get the blood out of here and back to Carlisle tonight yet, or can we take it tomorrow?" Jasper asked.

Edward pinched his nose and frowned. "I guess it can stay in the fridge overnight." He'd just have to try to ignore the scent. He could do it. It didn't make sense to drive back to Forks at the moment.

They headed back to the living room and Jasper collapsed on the couch. Edward began to feel bad as he watched Jasper, who looked completely drained. He hadn't meant to ruin the fun, though he was quite sure Carlisle was out of his mind to have encouraged Edward to indulge along with Jasper.

Relax. Enjoy it.

Edward sighed. While he was sure the blood would taste completely delicious, it was such a ridiculous, dangerous plot.

Jasper moved to get up, but Edward stopped him. "What do you need? I'll get it."

"I was gonna get a beer. I could use it," Jasper admitted. He had spent a long time in the bathroom and felt he deserved to indulge. He was afraid to bring up the pot again, lest it somehow upset Edward again.

But Edward wasn't bothered anymore by the thought of Jasper smoking. A pint of AB+ with his name on it had put things in perspective for a moment. So when he came back to living room with the beer, he also picked up Jasper's lighter from the dining room table. "Just because I can't indulge doesn't mean you shouldn't," he said charitably, handing both to Jasper.

Jasper studied Edward. "Really?"

"Go for it."

"Sweet!" Jasper darted into his bedroom and came back out with the small bag of weed. With a hand more practiced than Edward would have guessed, he rolled a joint and sat back down on the couch.

Edward tried not to grimace at the miniscule distance between Jasper's thumb and the flame of the lighter.

It wouldn't have mattered, however, as Jasper wasn't paying attention to Edward anyway. He was concentrating on the sweet burn in his lungs, something he hadn't felt since Edward entered his life. (Ironically, Edward had felt nothing but that since Jasper entered his.)

Though Jasper had never smoked regularly, he was glad Edward and pot weren't mutually exclusive. He enjoyed a little chemically enhanced relaxation every once in awhile.

Edward studied Jasper's lips with even more fascination than normal when he parted them to exhale. When he saw them stretch into a grin, he glanced at Jasper's eyes.

"I think you better come kiss me," Jasper told him.

Edward was happy to oblige, and sat back down on the couch next to Jasper afterward, not hiding the fact that he licked his lips afterward so he could reflect on the unfamiliar new flavors.

"Did you want to try?" Jasper asked before taking another pull.

Edward shook his head quickly, even though he was secretly tempted. He wanted to know what it felt like, or if it was anything like the time he'd inhaled a bunch of ash when Rosalie has stuck his head in the fireplace after she got mad at him for stealing her hair gel.

He watched out of the side of his eye as Jasper took another pull, but tried to appear focused instead on edge of the couch cushion he was fingering.

He hazarded a quick glance at Jasper, who was smirking. He held out his hand to Edward. "Here, try it."

Edward accepted the offering warily, sniffing at it a bit and verifying there was no way it could light him on fire before he placed it to his lips and inhaled a little bit—just to see.

Almost immediately he handed it back to Jasper, quite unimpressed, though he had to admit it wasn't as bad as the chimney dust he'd encountered thanks to his sister's temper.

Jasper chuckled. "Hey, you tried. It's good to try new things." He paused to take another hit. "You know, there is something else you could try—" he started to say, but Edward cut him off with a look.

Jasper shrugged. While he was pretty sure Edward could handle the blood in the kitchen, and Carlisle had supported his idea, if Edward didn't want to try, that was up to him. Jasper was starting to have trouble caring.

Indeed, Jasper looked quite relaxed, half melted into the couch with a lazy smile. Edward watched him for a moment, slightly envious and wondering what it was like, having never fully relaxed in nearly a century.

Edward's glanced at the fridge. He doubted human blood would give him that experience, but he couldn't be completely certain. Come to think of it, he couldn't be sure it would definitely want to make him drink Jasper either.

How was he to know? His gaze landed back on Carlisle's note, still sitting on the coffee table in front of him.

Relax. Enjoy it.

Edward shook his head. There was nothing about it that was a good idea. Even if the blood was everything he imagined it would be, tasting it while Jasper was around would put him needlessly at risk.

But then, perhaps it was a good idea to find out how it would affect him. That way he'd know in the event of an emergency.

Jasper watched Edward's eyes dart between the fridge and the coffee table and guessed Edward's train of thought. Subtlety wasn't exactly his boyfriend's strong suit.

After exhaling another smoky breath, Jasper casually tried again. "I guess from what you said, I thought it would taste good."

Edward sighed. "I'm pretty sure it would be amazing."

"But you can't—"

"No."

Jasper hummed noncommittally.

"Do you think Rosalie will enjoy it?" he asked after some time had passed.

Edward looked up. "Yes," he grudgingly admitted, less eager now to share it with her now that he was reminded of their fireplace encounter.

"But you wouldn't—?"

"No," Edward confirmed quickly, though Jasper saw his eyes flicker back to the fridge.

Jasper dug into his pocket and took out the directions for heating the blood, and handed it to Edward. "Carlisle gave me that, just in case. But he said you'd remember how because of when you got some ready for Emmett when he was a newborn."

"I remember." All he had to do was set the container in some hot water on the stove for a few minutes until it reached the right temperature. It was quite easy. And then he recalled exactly how good it smelled as it warmed.

Edward swallowed.

It had smelled really, really good.

Not as good as Jasper, of course, but close.

"Would it even make the trip back to Forks?" Jasper asked eventually. "I wouldn't want it to go bad during the long ride."

Edward scratched his stomach as he thought about it. Jasper had a point. It might warm up too much. "Wouldn't want it to go to waste," he murmured.

"Definitely not," Jasper encouraged. "It would be wrong."

Edward agreed, his eyes now glued to the door handle of the fridge.

"Maybe you should show me how to heat it up for you, just in case I have to do it sometime?" Jasper tried.

"Why would you need to do that?"

Jasper shrugged and got up off the couch, heading to the kitchen. "I don't know. But you might as well show me, you know, just in case."

"I don't know..."

However, Edward followed him, his use of vampire speed betraying his eagerness.

It was then that Jasper knew he'd played his cards exactly right. He was pleased that he understood so well the inner workings of his boyfriend. Edward just needed to approach new ideas slowly and with much deliberation. At the end of the day, Jasper loved him for his quirks, and because, even if it took some time, Edward eventually was willing to try.

When Jasper got close to the fridge, Edward stopped him, and forced him back a few steps. "You'd better let me." Humans were so clumsy, and Edward didn't want Jasper dropping it and having the liquid spill all over the floor.

"Of course," Jasper agreed, heading toward another cabinet to dig out an appropriate pan, which he then filled in the sink. Edward watched, cradling the dark red fluid-filled container almost lovingly in his hands.

After putting the pan on the stove, Jasper decided to let Edward progress at his own pace. He retreated to the bedroom and must have dozed off because he awoke with a start when he heard a crash. Jumping up off the bed, Jasper dashed back into the kitchen, where he found Edward sitting on the floor. He was using his finger and tongue to lick up the last of the remnants of what had to have been blood off the bottom of a saucepan.

Jasper tried not to gag as he looked around. The lid for the pan lay about eight feet away against the stove, which must have been the crash Jasper heard, though he really had no interest in knowing how or why it had landed there.

It was then that Jasper realized the entire kitchen was in disarray. Water, pans, and various utensils and mixing spoons were everywhere, despite the fact that Edward didn't actually seem to be using anything but his finger at this point. And he really didn't understand why Edward had gotten the box of croutons and tub of Crisco out of the pantry, but he supposed it must have had something to do with the opened can of kidney beans sitting on the counter. The yellow puddle on the floor was inexplicable, as was the carrot Edward had used to prop open the oven.

Edward seemed oblivious, however, and merely burped proudly as he finished his meal, drawing Jasper's attention back to him. Jasper found he didn't have it in his heart to care about the mess, because the look on Edward's face made it completely worth it.

Sure, his eyes were already scarlet, which was a little freaky, but he'd set down the pan he'd licked clean and was now resting back against a cabinet with a look of pleasure Jasper had never seen before on his face.

It somewhat resembled the blissful expression Edward had adopted the first time they'd had sex, but it was far less tense.

Jasper approached Edward slowly and he knelt down beside him to put his hand on Edward's knee. "So, how was it?"

Edward smiled idly. "My throat doesn't hurt any more."

Jasper grinned. "So it was good?"

Edward nodded, unable to find the words to describe what he'd just experienced. Eventually he settled on "Really, really good."

"Good." Jasper wanted to lean in to kiss Edward, but wasn't sure he could do it without vomiting, so he gave him a quick peck on the cheek instead. Edward, a little out of it and unused to feeling completely sated, barely noticed.

"I think...I think I'm gonna ask for another for Christmas."

"Oh yeah?" Jasper squeezed Edward's knee.

"And my birthday," he added seriously.

Jasper laughed. "Sounds good." He got to his feet and pulled the sluggish vampire to his. He looked around and decided cleanup could wait until morning. Teeth-brushing, however, would not, so he pulled Edward into the bathroom and handed him the toothbrush and toothpaste.

Edward looked at it sadly. He wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to the lingering flavor on his tongue, but he could tell he wasn't going to get to kiss Jasper again until he did. He dutifully washed and brushed and then brushed again when he saw Jasper still looking a little green.

While Jasper gargled some mouthwash, Edward studied their reflection in the vanity mirror.

"We're twins!" he announced suddenly. "We've both got red eyes."

Jasper snorted and nearly swallowed his mouthwash at Edward's observation.

"So should we do this again some time?" Jasper asked as they finished up and started undressing to get into bed.

"You can, but I'd better not," Edward sighed. "It's too dangerous."

"Yeah—especially for my kitchen!" Jasper pointed out as they climbed in and Edward flicked out the lights. "You're cleaning that up, by the way."

"Of course," Edward promised as they snuggled up. He watched as Jasper's eyes drift shut and listened as his breathing started to even out before beginning his nightly monologue.

"You're like a drug to me, my personal brand of heroin. But more than any drug, I love you, and you are my life now..."